Apocalypse Now

For all those students who have been pained in the past by the extremely tedious Environmental Education syllabi that our “Indian” education system served on an ill-planned platter, “Inferno” by Dan Brown comes a bit late. But as the adage goes “better late than never” and true to the adage, Brown drives home the point that the sophomoric environmentalists had been droning on and on about for the past few decades with surprising and ruthless clarity.

In a heady mix that could only have been brewed by the “master” of conspiracy theories and controversies, “Inferno” by Brown is an intoxicating cocktail of art, ancient history, world literature with more than a splash of the great Dante Alighieri, genetic engineering, biological advancements and one of the greatest and most serious conundrums faced by the world today. In fact through the adventures of the protagonist Robert Langdon, Brown manages to seamlessly merge the past with the present as well as the future, and at the same time stressing on the Armageddon that faces the human civilization.

As is characteristic of a Brown novel, “Inferno” too is set within a time span of 24 hours within which Langdon must beat the clock, locate and decipher codes which more often than not bear a connection with the works of Dante , decide whom to trust and whom to avoid all to save the human civilization from annihilation . Brown manages to capture the attention of the reader from the very first line of the story when Langdon wakes up from a slumber with his memory worth two days missing. The story hence keeps flitting between the past and the present as well as different locations, a branched narrative as is characteristic of a Brown novel. 

Set mainly in Florence, the story traces Langdon’s journey from the hospital bed in Florence with nothing but a groggy memory of a white-haired woman, a pile of dead bodies and the ominous Biblical phrase “Seek and ye shall find” to guide him to unearth the truth behind his missing past and decode the future with the help of Dr. Sienna Brookes. Langdon’s adventures take him on a fast-paced and edgy ride to old Florence, through churches and museums, to tombs and palaces all the while being inexplicably chased by an army which seems to be baying for his blood. In a narrative that could have gone horribly wrong, Brown admirably manages to stitch together all the acts of the drama without for once revealing the true intentions of the characters ensuring that the reader keeps on turning the pages. In fact, through the extensive and effective use of deceptive writing Brown lends an edge to the story that propels it from being an ordinary mystery story to a novel that manages to thrill, all the while not forgetting the message that is alarmingly made crystal clear through the story. 

The settings are immaculately and extensively well-researched and the descriptions of the various cathedrals and churches, tombs and mosques, piazzas and museums and all the small anecdotes associated with them lend credence to Brown’s fast growing reputation as a lover of the fine arts , In fact even the most ardent hater of school-taught History cannot help but feel impressed by Brown’s work.

However to think even for a moment that “Inferno” is all about history and Dante will be a huge mistake because intertwined with the past lies the future as is made clear by Dr. Bertrand Zobrist and all those who make the mistake of ignoring either are in grave danger of being engulfed by both. In fact genetic engineering and the advancements in the biological sector form a parallel, if not ‘the’, plot-line of the story. In fact the questions that Zobrist poses to Dr. Elizabeth Sinskey , director of the WHO , and hence to the reader deserve food for thought and definitely more importantly immediate and drastic action. The future that Brown paints in “Inferno” through the “eyes of death” is a scary one and indeed the novel transcends being just an adventure story to a commentary on the inability of human beings to control themselves , resulting in the earth turning into Dante’s Hell , as Zobrist puts it. The truth is hard to accept even when it is staring us in the face, Whatever Brown says in “Inferno” is nothing we don’t know yet but so far we were walking through a dark tunnel towards the light at the end of it but now the light at the end of it rushing towards us at breakneck speed as should the headlights of a train. The end is coming and it’s coming faster than anticipated and we can do little to stop it. But Brown’s message is very clear; our “little” might make a “huge” difference in the end….

“If not you , then who? If not now , then when?”

The Gentleman's Game

 Undoubtedly if you’re Indian, cricket is something that gets you to the TV screens as surely as a melodramatic Bollywood film and more importantly keeps you glued to it till it’s over. And why shouldn’t it? As Shashi Tharoor puts it, although cricket was brought to India by the British yet it is more inherently Indian than any other sport (for details read Tharoor’s “The Elephant, The Tiger & The Cellphone”) and indeed Indians took to it like a cat to milk that has culminated into 7 World cup successes (including 4 u-19 World Cups).

However notwithstanding the romanticism that the simple act of smashing a red sphere with a wooden plank into a crowd of people or hitting 3 wooden sticks down with a red sphere evokes, cricket has changed a lot from what it’s founders possibly envisioned. Watching a match featuring young Indian turk Virat Kohli or the slightly more experienced Gautam Gambhir is not too different from watching an expletive laden Tarantino movie with a generous sprinkling of references to mothers and sisters dominating the respective players’ mouths. In fact the use of fingers to alter the grips on the ball and hence spin or swing it is comparatively lesser than the use that “one of them” is regularly put to, to allow the tension building up throughout the body to escape miraculously through one raised finger aimed at the worthy opponents or in some cases even the paying spectators. 

Sledging is not new in cricket or for that matter in any other sports and without sledging the game would perhaps not be what it is today where winning the mental battles are as important as winning the physical battles but today sadly sledging today consists mainly of the rampant use of the four letter word beginning with ‘f’ and ending with ‘k’ (for those who still don’t get it, it’s not “fork”) and colourful Indian language that would make even Bollywood scriptwriters blush with shame. 

Now, agreed that on the cricket field during a cricket match, cricket should take centre stage but a little banter never hurts, does it? Or maybe it does …but breaking down the opponent mentally before destroying him physically is not an altogether bad idea in today’s extremely competitive world. And the fun lies in the fact that not always does it work, sometimes leading to a rather interesting repartee on the cricket field like this little gem from the great Sir Vivian Richards.

 In a county game against Glamorgan , Greg Thomas attempted to sledge him after he had played and missed at several balls in a row. He informed Richards,” It’s red, round and weighs about five ounces, in case you were wondering." Richards hammered the next delivery out of the cricket grounds and into a nearby river. Turning to the bowler, he commented, “Greg, you know what it looks like, now go and find it."

 

Sir Vivian Richards was a ruthless punisher of those who sledged him but that did not deter him from having a go himself!

 

To ease the pressure on himself, Gavaskar had decided to come lower down the order and bat at No. 4 for a 1978 Test match in Kolkata but Malcolm Marshall fired out Anshuman Gaekwad and Dilip Vengsarkar for ducks, setting the stage for Gavaskar to walk in at 0/2. Richards cheekily remarked, “Man, it don’t matter where you come in to bat, the score is still zero.” 

Although debate still rages as to the origin of sledging, yet one can be fairly sure that the Australians the one of the best exponents of this art, a factor definitely that played a major role in their rise to cricketing power in the 90s.One particular Australian who used his acerbic tongue to great use was Merv Hughes, known more for his moustache than his on-field exploits. His banter with English batsman Robin Smith during the 1989 Lords Test is now a part of cricketing lore.

Continually beating Smith’s bat during the match Hughes remarked “If you turn your bat over you’ll see the instructions on the back.” following it up with a more sedate, “You can’t bat.” after Smith had missed again. The next ball however Smith had his answer ready, both with bat and mouth. Hitting Hughes to the fence for a boundary, he wisecracked, “Hey Merv, we make a fine pair. I can’t bat and you can’t bowl’”

Another particularly vitrolic exchange took place during the 2001 Ashes between Mark Waugh and little known English batsman James Ormond. Upon his arrival at the crease during the match, Waugh had a go at the youngster, “….look who it is. Mate, what are you doing out here? There’s no way you’re good enough to play for England.” Without missing a beat, Ormond casually turned around and said, “Maybe not, but at least I’m the best player in my family”

This list of interesting exchanges between players who tried their best to replace brainless jocks as poster boys of sports through their wit cannot be complete without a final incident which marked the beginning of an enigma called Tendulkar. In an unofficial match against Pakistan, a 16-year old Sachin was constantly jeered and mocked by the Pakistani supporters with placards :”Hey kid, go home and drink milk’. Tendulkar in his inimitable fashion chose to answer with his bat as he sent Mustaq Ahmed hiding for cover hitting two sixes in one over. The legendary Abdul Qadir challenged Tendulkar, “Why are you hitting kids? Try and hit me” Silently, Tendulkar answered Qadir’s request with four sixes in the over. The over read 6, 0, 4, 6, 6, 6 by the time a legend was born.

Whether the answer is with the bat, the mouth or with mere actions (who can forget Dada removing his jersey and whirling it over his head with utter disdain on the balcony of the Mecca of cricket as an apt answer to Andrew Flintoff doing the same in Mumbai after scripting an incredible English victory!) repartee surely spices up the cricket. Unfortunately witty interactions between cricketers are virtually non-existent in today’s age and sadly sledging has been reduced to a much-maligned act after the Monkeygate incident.

Perhaps the Gentleman’s game has been corroded beyond recognition or maybe when winter’s here can spring be far behind? On that hopeful note, the cricketing world awaits another Merv Hughes or Sir Vivian Richards. Sadly, a Sachin Tendulkar it might never get again!

The Mahabharata- An Ode to the Future

It may amaze many to hear me saying this but my favourite book even today remains one that was written earlier than most others – the Mahabharata. Before anyone mistakes me for a forlorn widower who is in a committed relationship with his religion or a religiously fanatical Hindu who is strapped in a static whirlpool of dogmas and beliefs, might I also add that I’m almost 19 and an ex-student of a reputed missionary school in one of the biggest and most open-minded metros of a developing nation!

What attracts me to the Mahabharata or for that matter attracts it to me is it’s futuristic appeal. Written more than a thousand years ago, the Mahabharata stands obstinately as an ode to the future. Although doubts may remain as to the truthfulness of the entire classic –the divinity of Krishna for instance or the fact that the Pandavas were borne through religious orgasms with specific Gods rather than sexual orgasms –yet the story and it’s elements remain as relevant today as it did for the past centuries.

The fact that the Mahabharata was way ahead of it’s times comes across clearly through the many aspects of the story which continue to pleasantly surprise me with every read. The fact that 100 Kaurava babies were conceived in the womb of their mother Gandhari is unthinkable and as the Mahabharata puts it, impossible. Hence according to the story they were conceived in earthen pitchers- a fact which is consistent as many students of medicine will recognize with the present day practice of IVF (In-Vitro fertilization) or “test-tube baby” to the layman for which Dr. Robert J Edwards received a Nobel Prize as late as the 21^st century.

The concept of nuclear weapons though only blown to frightening proportions during and after the 2^nd World war, existed during the time the Mahabharata was composed although the warriors and the readers would have identified nuclear weapons as the highly destructive “Brahmastra “which in an uncannily similar fashion to a hydrogen bomb required a set of codes (which the warriors uttered as a “mantra”) to unleash it’s power. In fact the fact that the weapon without the code was useless(as is the case with modern day nuclear weapons) becomes clear when towards the end of the 18-day war Karna forgets the codes and hence is unable to unleash the “Brahmastra” on Arjun in a moment of need. No wonder Hitler was in awe of the erstwhile Indian warriors!

The television invented by John L Baird in the early 20^th century is considered a fairly modern addition to the human life but in fact existed during and is mentioned in the Mahabharata. The fact that Sanjay, the aide of the blind king Dhritarashtra could see everything that was going on in the battlefield while comfortably ensconced in the warmth and safety of the palace and hence relay the news to his majesty may be looked upon as the miracles of the “third eye” by many but in reality is a clear allusion to the idiot box that would be “re-invented” many centuries later.

One of my favourite films of 2012 was the path-breaking box office success “Vicky Donor” starring Ayushmann Khuranna as a sperm donor and as is mentioned in the film by Annu Kapoor who plays Dr. Chadha of the Fertility Clinic (a role which won him a Filmfare and a National Award),”Sperm donation is not new, it was there from the time of the Mahabharata where the sages and Brahmins performed the act which was mentioned as the utterance of mantras that led to the birth of children in infertile women as an euphemism to the real act” hence proving my point again.

Another very disturbing incident which has increased manifold in occurrence in recent months especially in Delhi and Kolkata is rape of women. Although seen by many politicians and society elders as an outcome of the modern facelift that Generation Y has received vis-à-vis shorter clothes and more show of skin, they tend to forget that rape was committed in the Mahabharata as well where Draupadi was raped in front of an assembly of kings and princes, elders and relatives by the lusting Dushashan and not a single of the people present there rose to help her although each of the Kshatriyas in attendance there were supposed to be the bravest people on the planet. It was in fact Krishna who came to his “friend” Draupadi’s rescue supplying her with a never-ending sari pulling which tired out Dushashan so much that he ultimately gave up. What the city elders and the pedantic white haired know-it-alls should also know is that India has been historically a land of less clothes and more skin show since the ancient times and the expression of a person’s individuality can in no way justify the dastardly act of rape.

Here I have listed only a few of modern day phenomena that the Mahabharata boasted of centuries ago. This list is in no way conclusive or exhaustive and the clairvoyance and prophetic clarity of the Mahabharata becomes clearer in the mention of abortion ,alarm clocks ,ultra-modern glass rooms in the build of the confusing House of Mirrors in amusement parks(the first of which was devised only in the early 20^th century),a solar eclipse choreographed from earth(something which the Chinese scientists achieved only in the later of the 1^st decade of the 21^st century)and much more. 

In fact what I have mentioned here are only those aspects of the Mahabharata which make it an ode to the future , the Mahabharata is a fantastic read not only because of this but also because it has in store every human emotion possible , subplots that cover almost all the problems that plagues humankind emotionally and mentally and of course concepts that show utter disdain for religious , national , social or regional boundaries .

The Mahabharata is my favourite novel because it defies time. If you enjoy films of any kind you’ll enjoy this so if you haven’t read it yet go give it a read. It has everything you could possibly want in a story book.