Pramod sat down on his bed and bending down, began to tie
his shoelaces. Done with one, he furtively cast a quick glance towards the
narrow corridor lined with utensils and plastic storage bins filled with
clothes, trying to spot his wife who was packing his food in the tiny kitchen.
He was unable to see her but courtesy his ten years’ worth of experience from
marital bliss, the pitch of the clanking and thumping of vessels convinced him
that she was not in the best of mood. Sighing to himself and resigning to his
fate of hearing the choicest of cuss words when he would break the news to her,
he stood up and patted down his trousers. Manoeuvring his movements carefully
so as not to step on any of the food-filled vessels lining the wall or
upsetting any pile of carefully segregated clothes along the bed, Pramod made
his way from past the barely visible television and stacked shelves beside it
towards the kitchen. Sensing his heart beating faster in anticipation of what
was to come, Pramod wrapped his arms around his wife, who shook her head in
apparent displeasure and made a weak attempt to escape his loving clutches.
Realizing that now is a good time as any, Pramod picked up the packed tiffin
carrier with his left hand and without removing his arms, whispered in his
wife’s ear,” I have to do a double shift today so I will see you again early
tomorrow morning, okay?”. Having said that, Pramod quickly removed his arms and
turning away with the tiffin carrier in one hand hustled away through the
corridor and straight out the door. The clanging sound behind him told him that
he had upset a few vessels on the floor on his way out but weighing the pros
and cons of turning back, he sped down the stairs and was out in no time. He
quickly made his way past the local tea shop and convenience stores, smiling
and waving to the known faces still seated there and before taking the turn
that would take him beyond earshot and eyesight from his balcony, he looked up
and smiled meekly at his wife standing there. It was difficult to make out from
this far, but it seemed like she was smiling.
Preparing himself mentally for a verbal onslaught the next
day morning, Pramod quickly made his way past the closed and dilapidated
Bharatmata cinema hall. Glancing at his watch he reckoned he could catch the
2:38 local which would surely be late by 4 minutes, perfectly timed to ensure
he reached CST on time. He wished he had left his sweater at home as the
afternoon was unnaturally hot for November. He huffed and puffed past throngs
of people on the Currey Road bridge, making it down on to the platform just in
time for the train to chug in to the station. Relatively empty, the carriage
rattled along for 5 more stations, finally shuddering to a screeching halt at CST
and depositing a multitude of people onto its hallowed platform. Pramod looked
at his watch once again and beamed to himself at the perfection of his
punctuality. He had exactly 4 minutes left to make his way to his work-station,
2 minutes more than what he would need. Having navigated his way through the
group of people rushing to change trains or catch other means of transport to
make their way to their workplaces, Pramod made his way into the office and was
immediately greeted by the smiling faces of the outgoing shift-operators.
Having signed in his name in the large register, Pramod offloaded his hand bag
and tiffin carrier onto his seat and proceeded to gulp down some water from the
cooler. In some time, his shift-mates made their way into the office and after
having exchanged pleasantries and sexist comments about each other’s marital
crises, they settled in to their chairs and started their days.
Pramod would often remark to his family that his job was
mind-numbingly boring and if not for the tag of being a central governmental
employee- the holy grail of economic opportunities for the Indian middle class-
he would have easily left this job for something more engaging. He also often
complained to his work-mates how a laid-back job as this was all he had wanted
since his school days and how the only blot on his otherwise perfect life was
the tiny apartment to which he had to return to everyday. If he was being
honest with himself, perhaps he would confess someday that what he truly
enjoyed was the vast Victorian Gothic structure of the station, which was
infinitely less claustrophobic compared to his 1 BHK room in Ganesh Galli and
the office which was bigger than his bedroom but by no means, a comfortable one
for five people and yet afforded more comfort to Pramod than did his tiny room
which he shared with his wife and two children. Having been at this job for the
past 14 years, from the days of Victoria Terminus to the days when people still
remembered it as VT Station, Pramod’s job was as predictable as it could get.
Announcing the arrivals and departures of trains, which left and arrived as
scheduled day after day, month after month and year after year could hardly be
called an exciting job. The only excitement in the job was when lost people
asked to make announcements for their families or when new trains set off for
the first time after being announced in union budgets a couple of years
earlier. In fact, the job was so precedented that Pramod could even predict how
many minutes each train would be late by. The surprise would be if a train, in
fact, was not late and arrived earlier than Pramod’s prediction. Perhaps by
virtue of having a job that supported it, Pramod was a creature of habit and
rarely deviated from his daily routine of grabbing a cup of hot steaming milk
tea with Ravi from the AH Wheeler, discussing cricket and politics, often
politics in cricket and sometimes cricket in politics with Mahmud from the
suburban ticket counter just before the sun went down and taking a walk from
Platform 1 to 14 and back with Carvalho, a ticket-checker right after
completing his dinner. Having just got back from a round of intense discussions
on whether Yuvraj and Sehwag were Sourav’s greatest finds ever, especially post
their incredible performance versus England in the ongoing series and whether Ganguly
himself should get into politics or not now that he had announced his
retirement post the series win versus Australia a few days back, Pramod once
again sighed, wishing he had travelled to Nagpur to watch Ganguly bat one last
time. Cursing his ill-luck for not planning ahead of time, he slumped into the
chair and looked up at the wall-clock. It was 8:40 pm, which meant that Shubham
had just announced the departure of Howrah Mail via Nagpur and left for Pancham
Puriwala for dinner. The Nagercoil-Mumbai Express would be late as usual by 20
minutes which gave Pramod around 20 minutes to gulp down his dinner and then
start with the announcements for the Devagiri Express. He decided to make an
announcement before retreating to the back of the room to gorge on the curry
and flatbreads prepared by his wife.
Having cleaned up his tiffin containers, Pramod burped
loudly and washed his hands at the basin before checking the wall clock once
again. As the hands ticked to close in on 9:10pm, Pramod announced the last
call for Devagiri and the arrival of Nagercoil-Mumbai Express. He took out his
Nokia 5500 and dialled Carvalho’s number. After a few rings, the well-known
jaunty voice answered from the other end. Having informed him that his dinner
was done and decided that as soon as Shubham would return he would step out for
his customary walk, Pramod disconnected and looked at the screen in front of
him trying to prioritize his announcements.
As the Devagiri Express chugged out of the station, Pramod’s voice
boomed across the atrium for all passengers of Hussain Sagar Express to proceed
towards Platform 9 and of Gitanjali Express to proceed towards Platform 18. As
he repeated the announcement again, he stared impatiently alternately at the
wall-clock and his wrist-watch cursing Shubham for delaying his walk with
Carvalho. Finally, after 4 repetitions, unable to contain his frustration any
further he dialled Shubham’s number. With every unacknowledged ring, Pramod
could feel his patience wearing thinner and his blood pressure rising higher.
Preparing a list of abuses that he would hurl at the novice as soon as he came
in through that door, Pramod dialled Carvalho’s number to tell him that he
would be delayed. Before he could finish dialling, a loud sound reverberated
throughout the atrium and Pramod watched shocked as cement and peeled off paint
rained down beyond the glass windows in front of him and the station
disappeared in a large cloud of amorphous dust.
Pramod, slightly disoriented at the sudden departure from daily
routine, got up from his chair and walked across the room to the door. His
initial suspicion was that there had been an accident which had caused the loud
sound but something inside him was telling him that an accident could not
literally send ripples through the century-old structure, vibrations strong
enough to bring down rubble. As he opened the door, the silenced halo of the
air-conditioned office was unapologetically broken by the screaming of people,
the sound of running feet, of scampering children, of falling bags and falling
bodies punctuated only by the ringing sound of what sounded like gunfire.
Pramod had heard the sound of bullets leaving the barrels of guns and seen them
do so only on screens previously and for a minute, he simply did not understand
what was happening. His mind blanked out and his legs grew roots into the tiles
he stood on as in front of him, the cloud of dust gradually cleared but only to
reveal a cloud of darkness, which had descended onto the station. Pramod could
not believe his eyes as a men, women and children threw aside their belongings
and rushed helter-skelter trampling fallen bodies and fallen luggage. In the
far end of the station, perhaps near platforms 15 and 16 a fire raged brightly
and smoke billowed out engulfing the stores and stalls in the vicinity and
enrobing the arches and pillars as it rose towards the central dome and out
through the great windows. In the distance Pramod could see bodies crumple as
they knew not where to run, as if my magic but turning his gaze further
eastwards, he saw, to his horror, what seemed like two men carrying machine
guns and firing at will. As shots rang out and echoed across the great hall,
blood splattered across the floor and the pillars as bullets pierced through
tissues and nerves. As the figures of the gunmen got more prominent, Pramod
realized that they were heavily armed and approaching towards the west exit.
His dazed existence was shattered by a father who brushed past him with his
daughter in his arms, who was crying aloud, urging her to be silent so that
they could escape unseen and unheard. As Pramod, struggled to keep his balance
his eyes met those of an old lady, presumably fallen in the stampede that had
ensued post the blast - lying on the ground, croaking something inaudible and
extending out her hand as if asking for help. Stunned and unable to think
straight Pramod gathered his balance and reached out his had to locate the door
to his office and having grabbed it, pulled himself inside, closed the door and
steadily made his way to the end of the room to get a better view of what was
happening. As he made his way past Shubham’s bag lying on the chair – a
horrible thought crept into his mind and with that a fear – a fear so dark that
it rapidly crept into the deepest confines of his mind making his hands and
feet tremble. On a cold November night, Pramod began to sweat profusely as he
saw the scene of absolute carnage in front of him.
Amidst the backdrop of a raging fire and a thick black smoke
that raged through the stationary carriages and covered most of the eastern
extremes of the station, emerging slowly but surely through the cloud of rubble
and dust that still hung in the air – were two men clad in black spurting fire
from their machine guns. In front of them people ran wherever they could –
mothers with their children in tow, men with their wives struggling to run in
saris, youngsters returning from tuition classes, vegetable sellers and hawkers
returning home after a busy day, college-goers out for a fun evening coffee,
office-goers rushing home to be with their family. The unlucky fell as the
metal hit their bodies and spluttered blood all over the adjacent bodies and
pillars. The floor was by now red – the clear streams of blood muddied only by
thousands and thousands of footprints. As the two gunmen neared the office,
Pramod realized his only chance to stay alive lay in playing dead and bending
down so as not to be visible to the gunmen through the glass windows, he made
his way to the switchboard and switched off the lights. Just as he was about to
switch off the lights, he saw a woman get down from the stranded suburban
carriage on Platform 1 and run towards the central exit. An involuntary “No”
escaped his mouth as the woman barely made it a hundred feet before her head
swung wildly back, pushed back and almost off its cervical spinal support by the
momentum of a bullet that pierced her cranium, as blood spilled forth in an aerosol,
momentarily freezing her in mid-air before her body collapsed in a heap to her
right. Stunned, Pramod moved his finger which was on the switch just enough to
pull it down and plunge the room into darkness and sank down into the dark
floor himself. Burying his head into his hands, Pramod contemplated his
position. His brain urged him to stay put- a safe place where surely no one
would find him and he could sit out this ordeal and yet in his mind he simply
could not throw out the image of the woman’s body crumpling in front of him and
an involuntary soft “No” exiting his mouth. The more he tried to convince
himself that staying safe and silent was the best chance he had to survive and
go back to his family – the more the images in his mind became blurred – his
wife frying fish and teaching their son English simultaneously as Pramod looked
on with his daughter tugging at his trousers to come and play slowly dissolved
into a large pond as Pramod dived in, urging on his brother to follow suit and
finally pulling him by the legs into the pond, the pond gave way to the vast
blue night sky as Pramod and his wife, sitting on the terrace, looked up at the
fireworks across the night sky and Pramod took her in his arms and kissed her
whispering “Happy Diwali”, the smoke of crackers engulfed the terrace
altogether as the two kids squealed and screamed in joy at the sprinkling light
that burst forth from the crackers and soon the memory blurred only to refocus
on Pramod, tears streaming down his cheeks, staring down at the face of his
new-born baby and the nurse in scrubs telling him that it was a girl. As he
opened his eyes, he felt a wetness on his eyes. Brushing aside the droplets of
water, Pramod poked his head up over the desk and re-analysed the situation yet
again. He realized that his point of vantage and the options available to him
could be instrumental in saving many – many like his wife and children.
Nothing could have prepared Pramod for a situation like this
and yet in his mind, he was clear on what was to be done. He picked up his
microphone from his desk and dislodged it from its stand. He switched off his
screen lest the light from it attract attention and, arms and feet still
trembling but resolve now much firmer, sat down on the chair, pushed away from
the desk, with the microphone in his hand. From here, he had a clear view of
Platform 1 and that was sufficient for his plan to work. With an eye on the
gunmen who were slowly but surely approaching the western main exit,
eliminating anyone who crossed their path ruthlessly and to Pramod’s utter
disgust, shooting at the bodies lying on the floor irrespective of the sex or
age- Pramod began to announce on the public announcement system,” Please use
the side exit on Platform 1 to leave the station premises or the south-eastern
exit towards the police station. Please do not use the main exit on the western
side and avoid the central hall.” The gun-men looked up and about to identify
the source of the sound and discussed something amongst themselves. From his
vantage point, Pramod could see that many people who had taken refuge in the
carriages had already heeded the voice which they had come to know for years
now, travelling daily on the suburban trains, and were making their way
carefully towards the north-western exist on Platform 1. He hoped that people
who were alive in the far end of the station would not come this way but would
instead make their way through the south-eastern exit towards St. George’s
Street. As he repeated the announcement again and again, he kept an eye on the
gunmen who continued conversing amongst themselves and taking the occasional
shot at a moving body. As more and more people made their way out through the
suggested exits, Pramod, slightly enthused added to his earlier announcement
urging people to not enter the station premises because there were gunmen
inside. As he looked at his watch and wiped off the beads of sweat forming on
his forehead, Pramod wished the police would get here faster.
An eerie silence had descended across the station- a silence
unknown to Pramod in all his time working here. An unknown feeling boiled over
inside of him – it was a mixture of multiple feelings – a combination perhaps not felt before – of anger – a frothing red anger threatening to boil over and consume
everything, of sadness – a cowering yellow breaking down the resolve repeatedly
and yet pulling itself back, re-composing itself again and again and of fear –
an unknown billowing black void right in the centre of the body consuming all
and then spitting it all out again. Despite the unique concoction he continued
his announcements, keeping an eye on the movements of the gunmen who had by
this time shot at multiple dogs who had also made these premises their home,
much like Pramod, and also on the people steadily making their way out through
the side exits. Every bullet now fired seemed also to pierce Pramod, seemed to
hit him and make him jump up in pain and further strengthen his resolve to
continue. As Pramod continued his announcements, he wondered where the police
were and what was taking them so long. The watch on his hand suggested it had
been an hour now that Pramod had held fort, although without a doubt it had
felt much longer. As the two gunmen made their way past Platform 2 and towards
the western exit leading towards Cama Hospital and St. Xavier’s College, a
young boy who had been lying the ground, suddenly got up and made a dash for it
towards the side exit of Platform 1. Pramod shook his head in anticipation for
another body to fall before his eyes as the gunmen took aim and let free a
barrage of bullets in the boy’s direction. Somehow the boy, taking cover behind
pillars and posts, managed to avoid the hail of bullets as they razed past the
structures he hid behind and with a final dash, with the name of his God on his
lips, he made for the exit and before the two gunmen could come around the bend
to get a clear shot at him he was out. Pramod, would have rejoiced the small
victory, had the hail of bullets that just missed the boy, had shattered the
glass window of his office and rained down glass in front of him. Although he
shielded himself from the broken glass and in truth, was placed far enough from
the window to get hurt, Pramod now realized he did not have a window protecting
him from the gunmen and perhaps they had already seen him. Hoping against hope
that they hadn’t he quickly ducked onto the floor, located a relatively clean
patch and sat in silence hoping his position had not been given away by the
shattering glass.
To Pramod, even his breathing seemed loud now as the
footsteps of the two gunmen edged ever-closer. A round of machine gun fire
froze Pramod to his very veins as his insides trembled. With great restrain, he
stayed on the ground and did not move an inch, as he heard muffled voices outside.
The gunmen were conversing and it did not seem like a language Pramod knew. As
the footsteps grew spaced out and ever so sudden, Pramod realized that they
were patrolling the area, waiting for victims. Pramod, increasingly, began to feel
that the sound of his breathing would give him away and his paranoia started to
induce images in his mind that he could have done without at this moment. As
voices rang out again, Pramod strained his ears, trying to pick up something
but alas, he could not understand the language. Another round of fire followed
by a dog’s whimper almost made him spit out expletives. As the tension grew
thicker, the silence interspersed only by the footsteps and the mind-numbing
sound of gunshots being fired and the maniacal laughter following it – Pramod
knew that death would be instead and bloody if he was found now. There would be
nothing to keep the two bloodthirsty animals from shredding his body with
bullet holes and mutilating it beyond recognition especially if they also
realized that he was the one making the announcements. As thoughts of his
mutilated body, his wife breaking down, his children wearing white clothes and
his parents crying profusely over his dead body raced through his mind,
Pramod’s consciousness was jerked back to reality by the sound of footsteps
receding into the distance- the sound fading away slowly. With a tiny bubble of
transparent hope rising through the red, yellow and black coursing through his
mind and body Pramod raised his head a tiny bit and then his body to peer
through the glass-less window into the station premises to see if the gunmen
had really left. Seeing no sign of any movement anywhere, he began to feel
around on the floor for his phone and having located it quickly rifled through
the call-log to see it his family or Carvalho or Shubham had called him back. He
saw twelve missed calls from his wife.
Pramod frantically got up and dialled his wife’s number but
unable to connect through, he stepped out of his cabin hoping to get a better
connection on the platform. As he opened the door, a waft of putrid odour hit
his nostrils. Unable to identify the uncommon smell, he gingerly stepped
forward and poked his head around the corner such that the balustrade came into
view on his right and Platform 1 and the foot over-bridge on his left. Seeing no
movement, he stepped forward. For a man who had just been through the ordeal
that he had been through, the sight that lay in front of him should have been
enough to drive him to tears but it simply numbed his senses. A piercing sound
reverberated in his ears and his mind lost control of his legs as the feet, all
too well-versed with the premises walked about amidst the unknown blood-stained
floors and strewn bags and gears that punctuated the mortals, some lying immobile and bloodied and some whimpering and struggling in pain, trying to
cling on to the little wisps of life and make their way to the light at the end
of the tunnel. Pramod hobbled across the station, his shoes adding to the
bloodied prints on the tiled floor, as he indiscriminately walked through
splattered pools of blood and past people he did not know and now would never
beyond their obituaries. As Pramod walked through what seemed to him like a
circle of hell, the devastation and absolute shock which gripped him, clenched
his heart and soul like a cold copper corset, making even breathing difficult
in the air laden with putrid odours that rose from the bloodied wounds of the
perspiring alive and the dead bodies. As he coughed and grabbed his chest
trying to breathe, he became cognizant of two things simultaneously – a
vibration in his trouser pocket and a familiar black coat lying in a few feet
to his right. As he pushed his left hand into his left pocket to extract the
phone he stumbled towards the black coat urging his mind that it was a common
coat worn by all checkers. Subconsciously, Pramod received the call on his cell
phone and raised it to his ear as he reached the coat and lifted it from the
ground. On the phone he could hear static and a muffled voice mumbling
something in-comprehensively while his mind wondered why the coat was so wet. As
the voice started to clear out, he looked down and to his horror, saw blood
dripping from the black coat onto the floor and streaming down his palm and
along his radius and ulna, gradually diffusing through his light blue sleeve.
Dropping the coat and taking a step back almost in fear, he looked down once
again beyond the coat at the owner lying beneath just as a clear but teary
voice crackled through the phone, “Hello? Are you there? Are you alive?”
Pramod’s worst fears, darker and denser than before seemed to well up from the
depths of his intestines as he stared at the bearded face- the same face but
not those playful naughty eyes that always make stupid jokes and sexual
innuendos- of Carvalho. As he looked at the empty eyes staring up at him,
the hopelessness that he had kept inside so long overpowered his control and
burst forth in a belching motion and Pramod could only avert his face to ensure
his regurgitation did not soil Carvalho in death. The voice on the phone faded
out after a few teary repetitions as Pramod, with vomit-soiled trousers and a
blood-soaked right sleeve was carried away by two constables.
Pramod did not remember how he returned home the next day-
someone must have dropped him off. He did not remember the teary hug of his
wife, the confused stares of his children or the looks on the faces of his
neighbours but in the coming days his wife narrated and re-narrated the story
of her night and morning of uncertainty and the look on the faces of the
neighbours as Pramod returned home – the looks reserved only for a man who had
defied death and returned. Neither did he remember the next few days – they all
were a haze of the mundane, interrupted only by sudden apparitions of bloody
faces, of ringing gunshots, of blood dripping from a coat and two armed men nor
did he remember what the newscasters screamed from their stations over the next
few days. He remembered very less of his life till after a week he decided to
go back to his job. His wife decided to accompany him and although it did
nothing to lay the dark fears deep inside raring to poke their heads out to
rest, he knew no amount of resistance could de-motivate her. As he boarded the
2:38 pm local from Currey Road as usual, the crowd in the carriage presented no
suggestion of the ordeal the city had undergone barely a week back. The usual
five stations and 15 minutes later he stepped down on the same Platform 1,
barren a week ago but crowded and brimming over with people now. The familiar sounds
of booming announcements over the public announcement system, of trains
screeching to a halt or shuddering to life, of people clamouring to get past
one another and chatting about the weather, about sports and politics, of
hawkers attracting customers and of thousands of footsteps going about their
ways. His body gave an involuntary shudder as he began his walk down to his
work-station. His wife grabbed his hand and guided him through the multitude of
people that he used to traverse quite confidently once. As he reached his
office, to his shock he saw a crowd of people outside the gate – an anomaly
basis his experience in his many years of service. He and his wife made his way
through the crowd and into the room, which is when his boss stepped forward and
started clapping. As the other employees joined in, a surprised Pramod was
pulled aside by his boss and he announced to the room – “Our hero, guys!”
Embarrassed, Pramod muttered thanks which nobody heard
before his boss wheeled him outside and turning towards the crowd outside
said,” All of you have been coming every-day to meet Pramod. Well this is him
and this is his wife”. Shocked, Pramod looked up at the faces of the few people
who had gathered there. As an announcement rang out for the passengers of the
Konark Express in the atrium, a middle-aged man stepped forward and hugged
Pramod and whispered in his ear,” My daughter could return home alive because
of you Pramod. I do not know how to thank you but truly I am indebted to you
forever”. Pramod, still hugging the man, tried his best to keep his eyes from
welling up and looked away from the crowd towards the platform and realized he
was looking at the same place where the young woman had been shot down on the
26th in front of his eyes. As they disengaged, he saw a group of
3 friends, probably college-going, running towards the platform and as his gaze
followed them, they successfully boarded the train chugging out and celebrated
inside by breaking into a jig as the announcement of the Kalyan local having left the station rang out through the atrium.